Don’t eat salt. Don’t eat fat. Don’t eat sugar. If you are lactose intolerant, don’t eat or drink dairy products. If you are celiac, don’t eat bread products.
We have all heard these but if you follow these too strictly your brain is not going to get the fat and salt it needs to function properly. So basically the synapses can’t fire because they don’t have salt to conduct electricity. The brain would kinda go flat without the fat to float in, and you could get mood disorders. I think both wheat and dairy have nutrients to make the thyroid gland work, etc. So if you don’t get the nutrients, then your body craves the foods it knows contains them.
What do you do? You have to eat, but a lot of foods are unavailable to you. If you stay away from all the foods that you shouldn’t eat your body starts to lack nutrients and your physical and mental health deteriorate. Your body craves the nutrients it needs, even when you know that it is wrong. So you have to decide the lesser of three evils, do you eat the bad food and live with the pain and other health problems it causes, do you suffer from malnutrition, or do you take chemical supplements that cause other health problems?
What does that have to do with sex & love you ask? Our mature bodies are made to need sex, almost as much as food. Our bodies need love and sex to release endorphin’s and without them our bodies suffer both physical and mental health problems. Likewise, especially in men, the sexual starvation make all of us crave the things that we know can give us that “sex food”. Why don’t some women have those cravings? My theory, like someone who never had dairy products, they never experienced big enough orgasms with a man and don’t know what they are missing.
When I was young, after sex education class, I started being more friendly with the girls. I don’t think that this was deliberate on my part, it just happened. Then I got hooked on porn, and by the time I was in university I think I had more female friends than male. I didn’t have any naughty thoughts about them, but my mind would keep on asking me “Is she the one? Does she like you?”. I still needed to satisfy my sexual needs with porn, but it felt empty, like gluten free bread or soy ice cream.
Then I met my wife. We were friends for a long time before we got involved. I just felt a connection to her that I didn’t have with anyone else. At first I didn’t think anything of it, but as time went on we just knew we were meant for each other.
I don’t remember when we started having sex, I think it was around the time we got engaged. I was inexperienced but had done lots of research, so it was good. It wasn’t long before we got married. Then we started fighting verbally, and there wasn’t much sex. At first I turned back to porn to satisfy my needs, but resentment built because wasn’t sex part of marriage? I knew this was wrong to think this way, and it was the sex starvation messing with my mind, but I couldn’t control it.
Over the years I did feel more love from her and couldn’t watch the porn anymore, it was like I was cheating. I tried not to satisfy my own needs, but then the wet dreams started, or maybe I should call them nightmares. I know I got a kinky mind from watching too much porn, but the wet dreams were far more kinkier than I could even think of during the day. So then I thought the lesser of the evils was to satisfy my needs by remembering the times we made love and the feelings we had (it’s not cheating on her when I am thinking about her is it?).
When things got better she made me promise not to take care of my own needs, she would take care of them, I just had to ask. Well we still had arguments, she sometimes was sick, the wet nightmares returned, and finally she gave me permission to satisfy my needs when she wasn’t available. I did satisfy my needs, but every time I felt a wedge being hammered between my wife and I. That little voice inside kept telling me that I didn’t need her, I could take care of my own needs. I tried to ignore that voice but it kept getting louder, until my wife and I would spend some intimate time together and then it went away.
Things have been good lately, but I was just wondering what other people thought. What is the lesser of the evils? When I can’t stop my body from needing sex, and my wife (for one reason or another) is not available, what would you do?